My mother is in AA. She recently had some surgery done and her AA sponsor was over at the house to bring over some flowers. She gave me her phone number in case my mom needed anything. She doesn’t need anything, but I do know that she has started drinking again (she tells her sponsor and group that she isn’t drinking at all.) Should I step in and alert my moms sponsor? Or just mind my own business? Any advice would be great. Thanks.
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Call her and tell her. She should know since shes the sponsor. She will know what to do.
I would!!!
Yes, step in and help you mother.
Will it help mom if you call the sponsor? If so, then do it.
However, at a certain point, you have to step back and let mom fight her own battles. Alcoholism is the one disease where everyone else gets sick. You walk on eggshells, dance around the problem, get sucked into insane conversations that the alcoholic doesn’t even recall the next day but made you stay up and lose sleep over; you are required to be the adult instead of the child (such as monitoring mom’s drinking & worrying whether to call her sponsor); they ruin every single holiday & family gathering, etc etc etc.
So sure, call. But when the time comes for you to back off, don’t feel guilty. It’s a battle that only mom can win, you can’t win it for her.
You need to call your mom’s AA sponsor and let her know that she is drinking again. That is what an AA sponsor is there for – to get advice from. When you call the sponsor do it when your mom is not around.
Yep.
That is what they are there for. That is why she gave you the phone number.
Allow this person to help.
It is your business. If you ignore it you are enabling her to continue to drink again. That is the problem with a lot of alcoholics in families, the family ignores the disease and enables the one that is drinking to keep drinking.
You have to let her know you care enough to let her know you care!
I agree with Suzanne g. What an amazing post. She summarized everything I have experienced for the past 9 years in a single post.
What’s more important than knowing whether or not you should call your mom’s sponsor, is you knowing when to step back and let your mother deal with her disease herself.
No.
All you’ll do is cause problems between the two of you. It might cause a rift that will be impossible to repair. What goes on between her and her sponsor is between her and her sponsor, if she feels the need to tell on herself, she will.
Tell her you’re not going to lie for her, but you’re not going out of your way to tell on her either.