My friend recently “fell off the wagon.” Tonight we went out to dinner and I could smell the booze on his breath, and noticed the frequent trips to the men’s room. Since I’ve been very supportive of his sobriety over the past year, how do I tell him that I realize he’s drinking again and not to involve me unless he want’s my help? I feel like a fairweather friend and like I’m kicking him while he’s down. Like most questions, I probably already know this answer but I’m having trouble accepting it. Your experience is greatly appreciated.
He had been attending regular, weekly AA meetings and was in rehab for 28 days in early Spring. Thanks for the advice.
Comment below!
You DO know the answer. You are not being a friend if you tolerate his drinking and let him know that. YOUR experience is right on and I think you’d be a great friend for anyone to have. It’s not easy doing what you have to do and I admire that you are not walking away from it.
I don’t have any experience in this, but it sure sounds to me like you have the right idea. Just tell him. You might get him the phone number of the local AA.
Alcohol is a terrible affliction. I have only known one alcoholic personally. It was a terrible shame, the fellow was incredibly talented, but alcohol destroyed his life. He had a problem with depression and when he took his anti-depression medicines, he was fine. But then he would stop taking them (because he felt fine) and back he would go. I haven’t heard from him in years.
You know exactly what it is you need to do. You can not enable him by allowing him to do things in your presence that make you feel uncomfortable. YOU have to set your bottom line! What are you willing/not willing to deal with?!?! That is what it all comes down to. You are not kicking him while he is down. Alcoholism/drug addiction is a disease. His coping skills are not like “NORMAL” people’s coping skills. Something is wrong with his life that he must drink. your friend must hit ROCK bottom before he realizes that his life is so screwed up, sometimes they are able to do it on their own, alot of times they need the assistance of professionals. Well, I hope you are able to do what needs to be done for your friend.